'Jack the Giant Slayer' review by Captain Raptor

'Jack the Giant Slayer' review by Captain Raptor

It's not a sterling sign of success that Jack the Giant Slayer has made so little money that it might possibly bankrupt Digital Domain, the production company that financed it. I wouldn't have gone to see it myself if the director of the first two X-Men films Bryan Singer wasn't helming the project. It's stuck in a profit-making dead zone; a little too much violence and the occasional swearing means it isn't a kids film, but the childish premise means that it can't be marketed as a full-on blockbuster either. But a film's profit does not denote its quality, and I'm definitely willing to give a Singer/Ewan McGregor team-up a chance.

Saying that, Jack the Giant Slayer is stupid, lazy and incredibly clichéd. Following the age-old plotline of 'man saves princess from monsters' means the film isn't off to a great start, and the strongest part of a fairytale is supposed to be its narrative. Characters take courses of action for no justifiable reason (in particular Stanley Tucci's villainous Roderick, who kills an ally without motivation just in case the audience wasn't capable of grasping the fact that the man dressed entirely in black who sneers at everyone is in fact the bad guy), and in various instances contradict themselves entirely. An early scene shows the princess Isabelle getting frustrated that she is treated different because of her gender and says she wishes people would let her be independent. This would all be well and good if the character didn't spend the next hour and a half screaming, getting repeatedly captured, crying for help and literally not helping anybody in any way at any point. It's also hard to root for our hero Jack, as the script tries to make him so ordinary and everyman that he's totally lacking in any personality or charm. There's a saving grace in Ewan McGregor, hamming it up to perfection as the noble warrior Elmont, quite possibly the poshest character in the history of cinema, but one enjoyably overacted performance is not enough to compensate for an entire cast of poorly written characters. Even the nominally badass one-liners after giants get slain are limp and laughable.

So, as is too often the case with major movies, storytelling, dialogue and characters are sacrificed to showcase action and set-pieces. The giants themselves look and act as you'd expect - stupid and ugly creatures, with a lot of childish humour about their bodily functions, but they get the job done and certainly feel like a viable threat. The action is routine, with nothing interesting or inventive enough to warrant specific mention, although I would like to point out the scene where a metal bell collides with a stone wall to cause an implausible explosion. In a similar notion of calling the film's stupidity, there is a bald character whose name is Bald, and this disproportionately irritates me. The film's not entirely without its positives: the large-scale destructive rampaging of the giants is an impressive sight to behold, and there's a wisp of humour gained from McGregor's Trainspotting co-star Ewen Bremner as an idiotic manservant, but none of this can elevate Jack the Giant Slayer any higher than 'OK' at best. 

 My regard of Bryan Singer has fallen considerably after watching this film, and I thank God for Ewan McGregor to alleviate what would have otherwise been a truly grating experience. Jack may slay giants, but this comes at the cost of boredom, sexism, clichés and stupidity. A more enjoyable final act does not pardon the blandness and lack of thought seen in the film's first hour and a half, and frankly it feels like poetic justice that this film is making such an enormous loss.