'The Monuments Men' review by Captain Raptor

'The Monuments Men' review by Captain Raptor

Focused and dedicated readers (as I'm sure you all are) will recall earlier this month I declared that I'd be willing to give any film with Bill Murray in it a chance. As a man of my word, I went to see George Clooney's latest attempt to craft himself a career as a writer/director as well as an actor, mainly drawn in by the film's casting of Mr Murray and The Big Lebowski's John Goodman, and I'm always eager for an opportunity to see people sticking it to the Nazis. 

I think I'm going to have to revise my policy of 'watch anything with Bill Murray in it'; it hasn't been working out for me. Maybe the biggest problem with The Monuments Men is that it isn't sure which direction to go in. The bickering group dynamic and heist-movie antics are leaning towards the comedic, but the setting and repeated references to casualties and concentration camps are pulling the film in the opposite direction. A more assured director might have been able to successfully blend the two elements, but Clooney's directing is poor and at times even embarrassing. There's so many needless stretches of silence, often in the middle of casual conversations - it doesn't build tension or serve any sort of dramatic purpose, and any background music is both occasional and abrupt, so the film is filled with awkward gaps of nothingness. If the actors were emoting in the intermittent periods between dialogue, that might alleviate the uncomfortable silence, but the cast lacks both nuance and energy, and sometimes I got the impression that they weren't even trying. Cate Blanchett in particular gives an awful, robotic performance; you can practically see her going over the stage directions in her head. It might not entirely be the fault of the actors though, because the script (packed full of every cliche in the book) is uninspired, and while there are numerous witty lines, the majority of the dialogue lack subtlety, making it feel clunky and forced. 

The film does have some redeeming characteristics. John Goodman and Jean Dujardin make a good double act, with some enjoyable repartee flowing back and forth between the two, particularly in one entertaining scene where they're pinned down by a sniper. The cast does have some dwindling elements of chemistry, most notable in the funniest scene of the film where Matt Damon accidentally activates a landmine. The comedy and the other lighthearted elements of the film are inexpertly handled and somewhat poorly delivered but ultimately they do work to a degree and there are laughs to be had. The major flaw is that Clooney doesn't seem to know how to create and maintain drama as a director. Scenes about family tragedies, Holocaust victims and even the death scenes of vital characters are skimmed over, but there's several lengthy (and almost entirely silent and motionless) intervals of Clooney and others staring breathlessly at sculptures and paintings, practically an acknowledgement that other people's art is far more interesting and entertaining than this film.

The Monuments Men could best be described as 'awkward'. It's an old-fashioned film out of place in the modern day, with an inexpertly blended mixture of failed drama and semi-failed comedy, a cast that never really seems to know which emotion to go for, and a script that's more functional than fun. There are parts of it that are genuinely quite good, but they're in the vast minority, hidden beneath boredom, nationalism, tiresome cliches and uncomfortable emptiness. It's watchable, but it's mishandled and meandering, highlighting why Clooney's career predominantly takes place in front of the camera rather than behind it.

'The Lego Movie' review by Captain Raptor

'The Lego Movie' review by Captain Raptor

A lot of people object to the idea of subjecting children's entertainment to any serious or in-depth criticism. I completely understand that products made specifically for children might not be made with artistic merit in mind, but there's still huge range within the medium; Toy Story is not exactly on equal footing with Mike Myers' Cat in the Hat. If anything, it's more important that we scrutinize children's movies than ones that are labelled as 'proper' films - children are more impressionable and the message of a film might have some lasting impact (I still routinely ask myself 'What Would Rafiki Do?').

Conveniently, The Lego Movie is pretty damn good regardless of which standards you judge it by. Despite the concept sounding like a feature-length corporate advertisement that you paid to see, it's got more warmth and imagination than almost anything else on the market. It uses a semi-parodic, semi-heartfelt version of the Hero's Journey story archetype, and with this familiar territory as anchorage, what follows is some beautiful form of delirium. The visuals are charming, and having everything made of Lego gives the film unique opportunities for humour, which is just as well because the visuals are basically the film's sole reason for existence. 21 Jump Street scribes Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (See! Grown-up movie people!) are on both writing and directing duty, and fittingly treat the movie like their own personal sandbox. They did an excellent job, with a well-chosen cast voicing a host of preposterous characters, giving the audience such treats as Charlie Day's astronaut, Morgan Freeman's blinded prophet and Alison Brie's unicorn-cat hybrid. If those concepts don't excite you, I feel embarrassed for you. They're all good for a chuckle or two, as are all the visual jokes, but the only truly hilarious part of the film is, surprisingly, Liam Neeson as a two-faced cop, showing senses of comic timing and voice artistry that I never would of thought he possessed. 

The film's mildly funny throughout, so while there's never a dull moment, there aren't many outstanding moments either. The sheer madness and inventiveness of the film makes up for this though; from the soundtrack (Tegan and Sara featuring The Lonely Island? That deserves an Oscar nomination more than bloody U2), to the setpieces - the infinite possibilities of Lego are taken full advantage of, so at some point a robot pirate will punch a monolithic squid-droid, and it doesn't seem in the least bit weird. This makes it all the more disappointing that the majority of the film's conclusion takes place in the real world; the entire film is revealed to be the imaginative playtime of a child. As well as sucking all the whimsy out of the film, it's also just a drab and boring conclusion - I can't imagine anyone in the audience as being as captivated by this sickly father-son bonding as by, y'know, cowboys and dragons and explosions. It's an awkward and dull scene that was inelegantly handled, and it felt crowbarred in so that some sort of sane conclusion could be drawn, but it was the lunacy that was the appealing part of the film.

The Lego movie is pure entertainment. It's hyperactive nonsense of the highest order, and fun from start to finish. A lot of talented people worked on this, and it's wholly evident. Yes it's dumb, and incoherent, and childish, but so are Evil Dead II, Airplane! and Life of Brian, and we're allowed to take them seriously as films. The last 15 minutes misfire on every cylinder, and some of the jokes don't stick, but it's got heart and originality, something that a lot of people complain mainstream films today are lacking. Regardless of age, I urge you to go and see this. It's fun. It's really, really fun. Who cares if you're "too old?".

'Tootsie' review by Captain Raptor

'Tootsie' review by Captain Raptor

Of all the themes in all the films in all the world, none has been handled as generally awfully as cross-dressing. When two of the most prominent films based around a subject are Big Momma's House and Mrs Doubtfire, something has clearly gone terribly, terribly wrong. Tootsie, whilst still following the apparently timeless formula of 'man being treated like a woman = instant hilarity', is a multi-award winner starring one of the most acclaimed actors that's still alive today. More pertinent to why I decided to watch it is that it also has Bill Murray in it, and I think I'd give any film featuring him a chance.

The purpose of having Dustin Hoffman cross-dress is twofold, the first purpose being the erroneous idea that this is inherently funny. None of the jokes evolve much beyond ' people think he's a woman but he isn't ', and Hoffman's wispy affectation is just grating. His disaffected, misanthropic actor is a far more amusing persona, but he is mostly sidelined so that he can spend more time in a wig and skirts. Bill Murray isn't the godsend I hoped he would be, and his deadpan, laid-back delivery simply makes a dull script worse.The final half an hour is significantly better than the rest of the film, when people start to find out about the protagonist's dual lives, because then there are other elements: judgement, surprise, guilt - and Murray redeems himself with the funniest segment of the film, simply by attempting to stall someone at the door, and that old relaxed charm just slides back into place. Arguably the funniest performance is actually by Sydney Pollack, the director, giving a brief but at least entertaining appearance as the exasperated agent, and Teri Garr also adds some energy to the proceedings. On the other side, Jessica Lange's love interest is both lazily written and drably performed, which also goes for the majority of the other characters too.

The second reason for putting Dustin Hoffman in women's shoes (both literally and metaphorically) is to draw comparisons about how life is different for men and women. The film portends to be a drama as well as comedy, although there's absolutely nothing within the film that remotely supports that. However, the aim is noble, and the audience is shown clear and realistic examples of everyday sexism as well as highlighting the ridiculous standards that women are often held to. To the film's credit, this is done smartly and effectively, but it does raise numerous other issues. As wonderful as he is, there's an obvious problem in using Dustin Hoffman as a symbol of female empowerment, and for a film that is in clear possession of a social conscience, it's woefully insulting towards cross-dressers. The dramatic aspect of the film is a total wash, and it's troubling in its crass attitude towards cross-dressing, but I don't fault it for trying.

Tootsie is endearing to an extent but ultimately still a poor film. The attempts at drama or social commentary are washed over by dozens of simplistic jokes, and for much of its runtime the film is a stale and meandering mess. Most of the performances aren't up to scratch and the jokes are threadbare. The central and surface message is presented clearly and proudly (albeit kind of dumbly), and there are genuinely funny moments clustered together towards the end, but ultimately, Tootsie failed to engage or entertain me. An admirable failure of sorts, but a failure nonetheless.