'Les Misérables' review by Captain Raptor

 

'Les Misérables' review by Captain Raptor

Death. Civil war. Poverty. Depression. It's not hard to see why Les Misérables was a hit at Christmas time. There's nothing better for getting into the festive spirit than watching a starving French prostitute have her teeth pulled out with pliers. But still, nothing like a weepy musical to sell tickets. And Christ, if you are a weeper, be prepared; Little Miss Sunshine this ain't. The film, overall, is quite good (for those of you too lazy to read the whole review, you can opt out now). I say 'quite' because the film is absolutely phenomenal and entrancing when dealing with the more melancholy and  depressing elements of the story (which admittedly comprise the majority of the film), but drippy and mundane when dealing with anything else.

So, there's a pressing issue I need to address before continuing. I thought Russell Crowe was fantastic as the dutiful, pitiless lawman Javert. His performance has been almost universally slated, both for his singing and his acting ability (or lack thereof). I'll admit that I have little to no knowledge of musicals, but I found his singing to be only slightly below the level of the rest of the cast, and not detrimentally so. Crowe's Javert bristles with stoic self-assuredness, an attitude perfectly suiting the character, and seeing him pace up and down a rooftop, belting out 'Stars' is one of the film's more memorable scenes. However, in an effort to appease everyone that I've enraged by daring to praise Mr Crowe, let's move on to the film's most agreeable success: Anne Hathaway. 

Anne Hathaway's secured herself an Oscar nomination for her role as Fantine, the aforementioned hapless French prostitute, and I personally pledge to travel to Hollywood and individually smack each Academy member if she doesn't take home the little statue. She has a screen-time of about 15 minutes, and a haunting screen presence that will stick with you days after leaving the cinema. Hathaway's rendition of 'I Dreamed A Dream' is undoubtedly my favourite moment of the film, a broken, heartfelt anthem of depression. You won't be having fun, but you'll sure as hell enjoy it.

The other characters are a mixed bag: Hugh Jackman (amicable and mistreated convict/protagonist Jean Valjean) and Eddie Redmayne (lovestruck Revolutionary Marius) both give great, emotionally charged performances, whereas Amanda Seyfried, a talented actress, is lumbered with the boring, bland role of Cosette, whose only character trait is to fawn about looking distressed for little justifiable reason. So you can't fall in love and be with the man you literally met yesterday. Boo-hoo. The other characters are being mutilated, oppressed, hunted and killed, Cosette. Get some perspective. 

Cosette aside, the film does have numerous other problems. For one, there is a 30-minute period in the film's middle that has a lull in any sort of drama. After seeing the horrible-but-brilliantly-watchable suffering that Valjean and Fantine go through in the film's opening act, the audience must sit through half an hour of vapid, undramatic young romance (Love at first sight has never been so annoyingly literal; one glance is all it takes for Marius and Cosette to suddenly propose their undying love, Marius almost giving up his life's Revolutionary cause after knowing the girl for 60 seconds) and characters moping about not very much; nestled between graphic portrayals of poverty and bloody war, this drop in tension is jarring and uninteresting. This film is called 'Les Misérables'. Show us some damn misery. 

The quality of the songs also varies. Hugh Jackman is a fantastic singer, but the songs he is given are nigh-undistinguishable from one another. Aside from Hathaway's solos and Crowe's 'Stars', a general rule of thumb is that the songs involving a multitude of singers ('Red & Black', 'Do You Hear The People Sing', 'Lovely Ladies') are more gripping and enjoyable than the musical's duets and solos. So, to sum up: Crowe good, Hathaway better (than everyone. Ever.), Cosette bad, and misery is far more entertaining than happiness could ever hope to be. Yay.